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Movies

Ultramarines: The Movie


I have finally been able to catch Ultramarines, a Warhammer 40k movie that had been in the works for some time. All I can really say is, I’m disappointed. The storyline was weak, the dialogue was weak and the action did not invoke the “O-M-F-G EPIC!” reaction that it should have. Perhaps I’m too harsh but I’m left with this feeling, it is like an unsatisfying meal, you know it wasn’t filling but you don’t really feel like eating more.

Whereas the movie itself lacked good storyline, the Ultramarines lacked common sense. Sending 12 Ultramarines into an area where a hundred Imperial Fist Space Marines could not be contacted is just plain dumb, it is only logical to think that something happened to the garrison and that something must be substantial to even dream of taking on 100 Space Marines.

That is not the end of it, oh no, the movie even go as far as having a Chaplain Psyker, by the Golden Throne! How does that even work? I know of Psykers, especially those from the Ordos Hereticus, who can channel the powers of the Emperor to smite heretics but a Chaplain Psyker is unheard of! It is heresy!

Well, the graphics for Ultramarines is passable, nothing special, was rather cartoon y at times. Would have worked for a video game but as a movie, expected more. Here are the scores.

Storyline: 3

Graphics: 6

Audio: 6

Overall: 5

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Movies of 2011


2011 seems to be a promising year for all ye movie goers. Shit loads of epic movies coming up, and I don’t mean the Epic Movie movie. So let’s have a look-see at what has got me all excited.

First up, who wouldn’t like hot chics, machine guns, katanas, dragons, samurai robots and B-25s. What am I talking about.

BAM! Sucker Punch.

The only way I can describe this movie is Alice in Wonderland meets 300. Incidentally the director of this movie is none other than Zack Zydner, the very dude who made 300 and Watchmen. Since I’m such an awesome person here is the trailer as well. Coming March 2011.

If you wish to find the larger version of the picture above. Click here

Next up we have the much awaited god of storm and thunder himself! THOR!

Thundering to you in April 2011

Another awesome movie to look out for in April 2011 is Your Highness. It is from the producers of Pineapple Express so expect this fantasy parody to be full of political incorrectness. Awesome.

Since we have Marvel Comics here, we must have DC comics as well. That’s right, I’m talking bout Green Lantern. Since I already posted the trailer up, I ain’t gonna really talk about it here. Coming June 2011

Last but not least, Captain America coming August 2011

2011, great year for my kind of entertainment.


Green Lantern Trailer


About god damn time if you ask me. So I spy with my eyes

Abin-Sur

Tomar-Tu

Sinestro

Kilowog


In Brightest Day, In Blackest Night.


No evil shall escape my sight

Let those who worship evil’s might

Beware my power, Green Lantern’s light!

Green Lantern is coming to space sector 2814 this coming 2011.

On a side note, for those of you who are not aware. There is actually a self-titled animated film for Green Lantern. It follows the origins of Hal Jordan and his rise to becoming, perhaps the most powerful Green Lantern the Universe has ever seen. This is of course to sate your appetite before the live-action movie starring Ryan Reynold’s as Hal comes to the big screens.

Did I mention that in Green Lantern: First Flight, the voice actress for Boodikka is none other then the super awesome, super amazing and super hot Tricia Helfer! I SO WANT TO MEET HER IN COMIC CON!

Pardon that outburst, I digress. Those of you who follow the Green Lantern comics will realize that the storyline of First Flight is quite different from the one in the comics, personally, I thought that they should have just stuck to the original but that would effectively double the length of the film I guess. Anyway you can also read the interview with Tricia Helfer on First Flight on this link.


Dragon Age Animated Film


Yes, I am not shitting you. BioWare has signed a deal with the FUNimation to do an animated feature film for Dragon Age. I am seriously psyched about this development you can check out the article here. I used to be a pretty hardcore anime fan, toned down since but hell this is exciting news! Gotham Knight, AniMatrix, Halo: Legends they were good shit and I am praying this will be good too.

 

An anime version of a Krogan I spy!

With Mass Effect live-action movie in production and the animated film for Dragon Age coming up, life is good. BioWare, you are a marketing and branding god and I fucking love you guys for the games you make. I am so excited I can hardly keep still! BioWare, I thank you for making this 4 years of gaming so fucking awesome!

Hi, I’m Hawke and this is my favorite Blog in Thedas

 


Superheroes – all ye olde theme


Brought to you by Nostalgia

Marvel

Spiderman 60’s

Spiderman 90’s

Fantastic Four

X-Men 90’s

X-Men: Evolution

Captain America 60’s

The Incredible Hulk 60’s

Iron Man 60’s

Iron Man 90’s

*****************************************************************************

DC Universe

Superman Animated 1988

Superman the Movie

Superman: The Animated Series 90’s

Wonder Woman

The Flash

Teen Titans

Justice League

Justice League Unlimited

Batman: Live Action 60’s

Batman the Movie 1989

Batman: The Animated Series

Batman Beyond


Chloë Moretz – Emily Strange the Movie??


Who is Chloë Moretz? Well, I pity the fool who ask this question for she is one Kick-Ass kid! I mean literally, she was Hit-Girl in the pseudo superhero movie Kick-Ass. Which was frakking awesome by the way.

Well, the talented Chloë Moretz is now taking on the role of Emily in the self titled movie. The movie itself is still in development and not much has been heard about it yet. For those of you unaware of Emily the Strange, let me give a brief run thorough of the history of Emily.

Created in the early 1990’s, this young lady appeared on Tee-Shirts and stickers toting philosophy and making cultural pot shots during that era.  As her influence grew, so did her story. In 2006, Dark Horse published a multi volume graphic novel, Emily the Strange. Of course more information can be gleaned from the empyrean eddies of the world warp web.

Honestly, I have never bought into this whole Emily Strange cultural phenomena. Well that is probably due to the fact that I am a dude, I mean I’ve seen Emily Strange stuff and to me they are usually just female shirts, bags and stuff. Having only recently discovered the existence of Emily from my monthly foray into the local bookstore I honestly admit I have no idea what Emily is all about. Other then the obvious counterculture she represents. So for the movie, not sure how that will work out, but Chloë Moretz is definitely an actress to look out for. Looking forward to it? Yea, why not.


The Real Fake Fans


I’m a self-professed geek. A super-duper geekazoid. And you know what! I’m proud of it, I was proud of it waaaayyy before the advent of the whole Comic/Games-to-Movies business venture. In all honesty, I was a late bloomer in the geek culture. I spent a good 14 years trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, but I found it, games, games in all its glory, not just playing them mind you. Making them, crafting them, forging them and weaving them.

Even as a kid, I was hooked on the act of creation. The need to tell a story, and I made small little inept comic books about Talking Dinosaurs and even a Digimon doujinshi. Not the naughty ones, I was only 8 for gods’ sake. I even made a paper and pen rpg as well, in fact I still have it.  So yes, maybe I was not a late bloomer but just stunted in my growth to geek culturedom.

I did not have a PlayStation 1, I did not have a SNES, a Sega Saturn let alone a computer. You know what I had? A Childcraft encyclopedia compendium, a Mighty Morphing Power Ranger Megazord if you remember that, a 1/8 scaled action figure of RoboCop and LEGOs.*I actually still have them* So yes, I told stories with my toys as I’m sure many of you did. And it sharpened my mind. The movies I watched when I was a kid, oh wow, I’m not sure if that was even legal! I mean I watched Invasion of the Bodsnatchers, Evil Dead series, Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13thExorcist. And not to forget Tim Burton‘s Batman. I actually liked those and not to mention Adam West’s Live Action Batman. But it was the Batman: Animated Series that really just go WOW Batman is frakking awesome and you start consuming more and more of Batman’s lore.

Now at the age of 21, I’m still trying to catch up on all the geek culture I lost out on. I love the classic games that are my forerunners and I praise them for the ingenuity for their time. I love the classic movies, Citizen Kane, Jacob’s Ladder, Predator 1-2, Aliens. Now, I am even playing table-top roleplaying games like D&D and Dark Heresy. So yes, I do believe I have the right to judge the new influx of ‘geeks’ and yes I am a geek, albeit a more socially amiable one.

I really liked this post from the Bat Fan Diaries and it is so true. I mean come on… As geeks we are socially shunted, people look at me funny when I’m carrying my 6 Dark Heresy books and reading them in plain sight. I bet they have no idea what that is but it sure as hell seems geeky and they either give you the weird eye or they snicker at you. I’m a very observant person.

The Image on the van was from the first star wars movie poster FYI.

I don’t know… we were like Godzillas, people use to see us and they go, point, laugh and run. Now everybody is trying to jump on the Star Wars decal bandwagon of geekiness +5. It is so annoying. You are trying to shunt us from our already shunted position on the social scale. I mean is there anywhere you can throw us to? You took our place in society, you reduced our chances of having a mate and what are you trying to do to us now? What do you want? Our dignity? Our pride? Our passion? Our lives?

You can read my review here.

Sure, Iron Man 2 was awful for you, cause it had less LAZERS and PEW PEWs, but that doesn’t mean it is a bad show! It was a good movie you assholes. You do not know Ironman. You do not know KickAss, you do not know Batman, you do not know Green Lantern, you probably know Spiderman but I’m sure you do not know Scott Pilgrim. You know what I think you know? Twilight! Yea Twi… I’m sorry I can’t even bear to type it out. You see, that is the thing. You jackanapes pretend to be geeks because you are jealous of us. You are jealous of the passion we have for life, for work and everything we hold dear. The very same passion you lack. So now, you are trying to take from us the thing you cannot get. It was not cool to be a geek, but you guys are trying to make it cool so you can have a small measure of comfort for your vapid meaningless lives.

I mean, just because you play Counter-Strike or Defense of the Ancients like every day does not make you a gamer. Not in my books it doesn’t. Gaming is not just about 1 singe game you know. It is about the myriad of games out there waiting for you to pick them up before their shelf-life expires! I’ll take comics as an example; people often consume not just 1 particular series but several. Playing Counter-Strike is like playing the same game and same map over and over again…. Oh wait, people actually do that /De_Dust/. So mind you,  just because you watched the latest Batman movie does not automatically earn you the achievement unlock of being a fan, though I’m sure you are as stupid as a desk fan but that is not the point.

That applies to the chicas as well; I’ve heard some chicas saying “oh I think geeks are sooo cute”. You are only saying that because geek culture is now ‘cool’ and you want a piece of that cool. I’m sure plenty of guys would totally eat it up but seriously, screw you not literally of course. I find the idea of a pretentious prick of either sex repulsive.

You see my dear socially acceptable dull minded fools. Passion is a commitment; it is a mental condition even. Passion is the fire that beats between your sternum and your spine, there is no such thing as spontaneous combustion of passion, and you kindle it from a slow interest to a raging inferno of utter devotion. When people actually feel enraged about a crappy remake of their favorite superhero, they are really enraged. They will beat the shit out of you if you even mentioned such an atrocity. That is how strongly we as a culture as a community feel about things. We get into heated debates over these kinda things, but what about you? Drinking, sleeping around, going to parties and getting STDs. So if you have any decency at all, please do not sully the geek culture.

Your’s Truly

A Concerned Citizen


Voices of the Future


Since my current obsession is Human Sarah Kerrigan, it is worthy to give due reverence to the voice that made the woman. Yes, I am speaking of the voice actress of Sarah Kerrigan, Tricia Helfer.

You might remember Tricia Helfer from the award-winning sci-fi series Battlestar Galactica, where she played the oh so sexy cylon*robot* chica , ‘Number Six‘. Already an immense pop culture icon, she went on to appear in Command & Conquer 3 as General Killian Qatar *Which is by far superior to C&C4. Which was crap*.  Looking good there too.

Of course, the most badass thing about Tricia Helfer was the fact that she was in Mass Effect 2. Mass Effect 2 is like only the most awesome sci-fi rpg around and Miss Helfer played an awesome and somewhat apt character, considering her role in Battlestar Galactica. EDI, otherwise known as Enhanced Defense Intelligence, an advance Artificial Intelligence on board the ship Normandy SR2.

And now, she is voicing my red-headed goddess of hawtness. Sarah Kerrigan. I know it is just a phase, but can’t you let a man dream?

Thank you Tricai Helfer for bring the fantasies of man, both fictional and non-fictional, through physically being there or through a digital analogue which does not look like you. I thank you.


Scott Pilgrim Vs The World


Another comic to movie adaptation ahoy! That’s right folks, come October 28th, Scott Pilgrim vs The World will hit the big screen here in the sunny side of Singapore.
For the benefit of those who are blessedly unaware, Scott Pilgrim was originally a comic book series by Bryan Lee O’Malley. It is about, well one loser-ish  dude trying to win the love of his life and to do this, he has to defeat seven evil ex-boyfriends.
Honestly, I didn’t really like the comic. *Even now I can hear them, the angry mob of fanboys/girls with their pitchfork and torches as I utter those words.* But hey, it is a free world and I’ll say what I want. The art style is well, kinda meh. I know, I know, it is shallow of me to look at it that way but… It is just kinda hard to get around it. The storyline… well the almost oppressive hormonal neediness just kinda put it off for me. I’m just not a huge fan of RomComs *Abbreviation for Romantic Comedies* I guess, or any other romance themed story in general. Well, it is still interesting enough for me to not put down the book, so sue me. And I admit it… I find it kinda funny and endearing.
Anyhoo, the only reason why I am even remotely interested in the movie adaptation is the fact that Edgar Wright is directing it. Who is this Edgar Wright I speak of? Only the brilliant director who gave us Hot Fuzz, Shaun of the Dead and Spaced. And there is of course Michael Cera, no offense to Mister Cera but with him playing the loser role, you can’t go wrong. So lets see how Scott Pilgrim will do against the World’s critics.